911 – Calling All Parentologists!

Tragedy has struck my household, as all three of my children have fallen prey to a serious disease.  My ten year old has pre-teenitis.   Symptoms include excessive talking back, uncontrollable ocular rolling, and when any admonishment is administered, her feet stomp the floor and barely audible murmurings rush from her oral cavity. 

My seven year old has a disease that is more complicated.  The technical name for it is “Dad’s gone till July Disease” also referred to as whatchagonnadoismia.  This disease is an especially nasty one, as the symptoms are less apparent.  All parental commands are met with the appropriate reflex, “Okay”, “Yes mommy” or occasionally, “Yes, ma’am”.  However, beneath the surface of those seemingly obedient responses, lies the silent killer “Whatever.”  The natural bodily functions of room cleaning are outwardly apparent; however, stray trips to the laundry basket or trashcan, are merely ruses to throw me off from the fact that he is goofing around in his room. 

Finally, my little one…the precious little three-year-old, has succumbed to dreaded and terrifying threesosis.  We thought she had recovered from the terrible twos, but that awful disease has mutated into something far more deadly.

 To add to this calamity, they have all suddenly developed an allergic reaction to obedience, cleanliness, sibling love and parental respect.  Traditional efforts to combat these illnesses, such as grounding, removing privileges, etc. have had no effect.  I’ve tried more creative treatment methods, such as if we can’t have get-a-long days we will have work days, and timers with consequences (if you aren’t done cleaning your room when the timer goes off, whatever is still left out goes into a box for Goodwill). 

I’m looking for some radical, cutting-edge treatment ideas.  My favorite discipline is the one that doesn’t just cause them to get upset, but also causes them to think about their actions and change.  How do you creatively handle disciplining your children? 

Leave your comments below…The Parentologist is in!



  1. Lisa Sturges says:

    Funny!! I didn’t know such technical terms existed for such common childhood illnesses!! However, if I knew the treatment for these issues-first I would be sane (no gray hair, no worry lines) but I think I might also be rich!!!

  2. Michelle Brown says:

    True, the cure for these diseases would be worth a lot of money! But at least you still have your hair (gray as it may be). I think I pulled all of mine out today!

  3. Lacey Johnson (: haha says:

    I use to have those! Tho it was the opposite. Mommy was gone, not daddy. Your kids act that way because its in the manualy we all get! Its call HOW TO ANNOY YOUR PARETNS 101 lol we read it in the womb! lol (: You kids are amazing tho. You are raising them right. (unlike alot of parents.)

    • Michelle Brown says:

      Thanks, Lacey. You’re right, I used to act like that too. Actually, I was a pro when it came to eye rolling, foot stomping and mumbling about how unfair the world is.

      Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

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